


What Would It Take?

by iggycakes



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: F/F, M/M, Unrequited Love, ardbert is a sad ghost boy, give him hugs, implied affection between the wol and exarch, single sided pining, what if i took a sad character and made him... more sad?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-12 03:50:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19939753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iggycakes/pseuds/iggycakes
Summary: SHADOWBRINGERS SPOILERS 5.0 SPOILERSSad ghost boy loves the WoL and can't do anything about it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello nobody asked but i did this anyway  
> to the tune of "What Would It Take" by Anderson East

It was her presence that kept you grounded. Her presence that maintained your shape and your meaner half existence. She was your center. She would accomplish everything that you couldn’t. A fact that made your heart churn in pain, in wonder of why the fates couldn’t let you save your own home. Why the fates threw all Her blessings on this Warrior of Light. It couldn’t be you. It would never be you.

And perhaps, it was better that way. Perhaps he didn’t deserve the accomplishment the way she did. Because, unlike you, she made it this far. And, unlike you, she was still alive and loved.

Who couldn’t love her? 

Her benevolence. Her smile. Her unwavering faith.

You were grateful to be just alive enough to watch over her. To be her support. It was the least you could do to deserve her forgiveness.

“I wonder why he won’t tell me who he is. Why he won’t admit it.” 

She returned to her chambers, after speaking with the Exarch, to debrief and figure out their next steps. 

You knew how much she loved him. How she was convinced he was G’raha Tia. A long lost companion of hers. Someone whose history you could never hope to rival. 

Plus, he was tangible.

You weren’t.

“The Crystal Exarch seems to have his own agenda. It’s clear he’s not telling us... you, the whole truth.”

“Hm...”

She sat down at the table and looked thoughtfully at the sandwiches he had made for her. You could see the affection in her gaze. That unmistakable expression of love. You wished she’d look at you the same way. You wondered what it would take to be honoured with it.

If you had a heart, it would burst. It would scream. Every night she came to you, tired but unable to really rest. The world had tasked her with something impossible and you were the only one privy to her thoughts. Because she could speak to you candidly. She had no fear of being misunderstood. You two were cut from the same cloth. She was part of you and you were a part of her. A shard. A shadow.

Everyone hailed her as a hero. As someone larger than life. You knew better than anyone what that pressure was like. And you knew that under her smile was an ordinary person merely trying to protect those she loved.

How you wished you were one of those people. That she might save you the same way she saved countless others. But you were already far past saving. 

Perhaps… you ought to be grateful you had this much.

You stood at her bedside, wishing you could tuck her in after she’s fallen asleep talking to you. But your hands went straight through the sheet. 

You hated your uselessness. 

Why were you here then? Was it just more punishment? Haven’t you suffered enough?

Why did you have to fall in love with her?

There was nothing you could do to vent. Nothing you could take the frustration out on. The pain in your heart just grew and grew. 

It was in the middle of the night when you heard the door creak open slightly. You panicked for half a moment, expecting danger, but not knowing how to wake up your friend. But the panic was unnecessary. It was a dark hooded figure who walked into the room. A blue crystal hand holding the door to make sure it wouldn’t open loudly. He turned towards you. Or rather, the person sleeping peacefully behind you. 

The Crystal Exarch quietly entered the room and walked up to the bed. A gentle smile on his face as he watched her sleep. She was still in armor, blankets sitting at the foot of the bed. He unfolded the blankets and laid it out on top her.

“Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold,” he whispered.

You watched him do all this and then leave as quietly and quickly as he arrived. He had come just to check on her. It was a thoughtful and completely unnecessary gesture. One that told you the Exarch returned the Warrior of Light’s affections, whether they were aware of it or not.

Your hands curled into a fist.

How you wished it was you.

That it could be you.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. To Make You Love Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SHADOWBRINGERS POST-LVL71 DUNGEON SPOILERS 5.0 SPOILERS
> 
> Ardbert reflects upon that First Night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me thinking about Ardbert in the background of that cutscene after completing Holminster. Y'know... just watching as the Exarch basically goes down on one knee and says he'll save a world if that's what it takes to save the Warrior of Light. How does a ghost boy beat that? (He can't.)
> 
> (Also, I'm sorry. I swear I love Ardbert, but he's such an easy narrator to make sad.)

Have you ever seen what it looks like, when two people fall in love?

I have.

Time slows to crawl. Missing pieces fall into place. Eyes gleam with immediate understanding and clarity, as the truth of all things come into view. In an instant, everything makes sense. At once,  _ nothing  _ makes sense. And Love rains down like a shower of stars on a dark, cloudless night. That moment is the beginning and end of the universe. It is both certainty in meaning and faith in hope.

The Warrior of Light turned around slowly, still unaware of the weight of her accomplishment. The plague of light dispersed and a true night sky spread above them, covering Lakeland in the comfort of darkness. 

The Exarch approached her and, although half his face was hidden, it was not hard to miss the admiration and longing in his expression. It was a mixed bag of guilt and gratitude. He looked as if he wanted to touch her. As if he wanted to wrap his arms around her, take her in a warm embrace. As if no amount of “thank yous” or any other word the common tongue possessed could convey the emotions burdening his heart. He didn’t deserve that familiarity. He didn’t deserve to celebrate this moment as if they were on equal footing. 

The heft of his actions did not match hers. 

The Exarch went down on one knee.

“How many years have I waited for this moment… For the one possessed of Her blessing. For you.”

He continued to speak with real gravitas. Voice somber. Despite their great achievement, we had done nothing in the grand scheme of everything that would unfold. It was just the beginning and the Exarch was willfully neglecting to tell the Warrior of Light the true reality of their adversary. Yes, victory was far from over. There were more Lightwardens to slay. Harder challenges ahead. None that would be too difficult for her to overcome, sure. But she would race straight first into her doom. Unknowingly. Because she trusted him. 

He must’ve known that. That she fight would for him. For the First. Even though this wasn’t her home, even without the threat to the Source or the safety of her fellow Scions. The Warrior of Light had a noble heart. She would run head first into a trap if she believed it would help someone. That’s who she was. 

Perhaps that’s why he couldn’t help himself. Why his voice was wracked with guilt. Why he looked at her and felt like he wasn’t worthy of her presence or her help. 

He built a wall between them. A wall made of his own inadequacy. And it wasn’t fooling anyone. At least, it couldn’t fool me. He would keep the Warrior of Light at a distance. Address her formally. Keep his emotions in check. Remain humble. But, deep down, he yearned for intimacy. The desperation he felt was apparent.

I felt it too.

The Warrior of Light smiled. 

Her smile could blow away any inch of doubt. If she had any fear at all, such concerns were indiscernible. She would treat this like any other adventure she had gone on. For what was saving the world from certain doom to someone who had already done such miraculous feats countless times? I had believed her smile was one of confidence. A smile of self-assurance to her peers that she would succeed at the impossible.

I was wrong. 

And I know now what that smile meant.

The Exarch’s heart was tangled up in so much secrecy. So much pain. Resignation. He had convinced himself that he should be grateful to be in her presence at all. But it was clear-- clear as that first night sky-- that the Warrior of Light did not share that opinion. Because that smile wasn’t confidence, it was trust.

Complete and unconditional trust in a man she knew to be her friend despite his best efforts to conceal the truth. 

It was a smile that embodied her utmost faith in him. Her belief that his ultimate intentions were  _ good.  _ Therefore, she had absolutely nothing to worry about. It was simple and straightforward.

It was love.

What I witnessed that night was irrevocably the planting of a seed that would bloom into an immaculate flower. It was a love that would blossom into something that would complete them both. That would feed their hearts with an affection so intense they would forget what life without the other was like.

I wish I had known that then.

But it is too late now. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
